Posted by: Tracy Barsamian Ventola | July 4, 2014

Healing the Mother Wound Workshop

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Tracy & Her Two Motivations for Healing the Mother Wound

I recently attended Bethany Webster’s Mother Wound workshop.  Bethany is lovely.  And her workshop is very professional, while at the same time intimate and comfortable.  If I were at the beginning of my mother wound healing journey, I would have been weeping with joy to have found a group of 10 other kindred-spirit women.  What a gift it would have been (to myself and my family) to have started healing my mother wound BEFORE I had children!  I wish that I’d met Bethany when I was in my twenties (although, I think that she would have been a teenager at the time!!).

To some extent, the workshop felt like a live version of the three books about the mother wound that I reviewed earlier in the week.  Bethany has a background in psychology, healed her own mother wound, and is dedicated to educating women about – and helping them to heal – the mother wound.  She has her own seven step process.  I won’t share that process with you as it is, in many ways, her product.  It has its own nuances, but it’s similar to the plans laid out in the books I recently reviewed.  Bethany sees talk therapy as an integral part of the mother wound healing process.  She views herself as a coach and suggests that for best results, you should work both with her (the coach) and a therapist, as well as a sisterhood kinda community.

But I have to be really honest.  Here is where I lose interest in the seven step process:  I have two daughters, ages 4 and 8.  Using talk therapy, it would take something like 15 to 20 years to heal the mother wound.  First of all, even if I were 18, I’m not sure that I could “hang in” with the talk therapy for two decades.  But more urgently, mothers don’t have that kind of time.  If we don’t heal our mother wounds, we will (unconsciously) pass down the mother wound to our children, especially to our daughters.

And there is another piece of the puzzle when a woman is a mother and healing her mother wound.  As I’ve blogged about in the past, when we practice conscious parenting, our children serve as our mirrors.  Mirrors into the depths of our souls.  And, I would argue that when we practice conscious parenting, our children both require and make it possible for us to expedite our healing.  When we understand that our children’s loudest, most annoying behaviors are not the problem – rather our daughters are bravely mirroring OUR ISSUES – life changes.  Our children actually bring our wounds to the surface.  Our children show us the traumas and wounds we suffered as children.  And when we are quiet and accept these gifts (that feel NOTHING like a gift at the time our children’s behavior is making us CRAZY), we can work on our issues.  With this new lens, we come to see that our children can help us to heal.  By clearing the traumas, we free ourselves from our childhood coping strategies.  We can start to live as our whole selves, not as wounded children.  And as we become more peaceful individuals…more peaceful parents, we give our children the gift of a peaceful childhood.  You can read more about the alternative therapy (a type of energy kinesiology) called SEA that is supporting me in this process in the post Healing the Mother Wound with SEA.

But at the end of the day, here is the thing about Bethany’s mother wound healing process:  it worked for her!  And she wants to share her success and her new found emotional health and freedom with other women.  If her process helps other women – awesome!  I feel exactly the same way about talk therapy…if it works for other women – great!  It did not work for me and I am so grateful that I started down an alternative healing path.  And I share my journey in hopes of helping other moms.  The purpose of my blog is to connect women and families with alternatives to the mainstream – whether that is alternatives to 49 doses of 14 vaccines before children turn 6, alternatives to compulsory education, or in this case, alternatives to talk therapy to heal the mother wound.  I think that is the reason why most of my readers come to my site.  And I am so happy to have you all here – when you agree with my ideas and even when you don’t share my views (wink-wink!).  Much Love, Tracy

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