Posted by: Tracy Barsamian | January 10, 2014

Forever Friends

playgroup photo

Keira (snacking at far left at age 2) with our Playgroup


We spent the day with dear friends.  The very first friends that Keira and I made together.  We made these amazing friends through our playgroup.  A playgroup made up of mamas and their girls from China.  These days, I often see groups of women at our local coffee shop, all with teeny tiny babies and super cool strollers, enjoying coffee and one another’s company.  I smile when I see them because I remember how warm and cozy I felt at our playgroups.  How at home I felt.  All the other mamas had girls that they had traveled across the world to adopt, too.  I didn’t have to explain anything to them.  They already knew that it didn’t matter how I’d come to adopt.  All that mattered was that I, like them, was one of the luckiest mamas in the world.  They already knew that I didn’t know my daughter’s birth story.  We didn’t have to explain to each other why our newly home children ate their weight in food at each meal.  We understood.  We understood it all.  We were on this amazing journey together.

I don’t see most of the mamas very often anymore.  But they are our forever friends.  We exchange Christmas cards and my heart bursts with joy when I see their girls (and even a couple boys now!!) growing into beautiful young people.  Adoption is an amazing thing.  It is so amazing that you sort of cannot help but be bound for life to these relatively few (in comparison with the number of birth parents in the world anyway!!) people.  It’s kind of an exclusive club, actually.  Only we, adoptive parents, fully understand the enormity of the joy of adoption.  You don’t have any genetic connection to this little person that is placed in your arms, but you never doubt that you were meant to be together.  You fall in love with a photo.  A photo of a little person you cannot wait to meet.  And then when that baby is put in your arms, your hearts melts.  This little being, that you have held for two seconds, now owns your heart.  The pain of the wait is instantly erased.  All that matters is that you are now a mother to a perfect little girl.

And even now, being around my two rock star adoptive mama friends today fills my heart.  I am at home again.  I don’t feel that way in many places.  But today, in the company of these two women and our combined five beautiful Chinese girls (and one amazing bio son, about to complete high school, in absentia today) – I exhaled.  I didn’t worry about saying the right things.  I am sure I said a LOT of wrong things, actually.  These friends and I have many differences – two send their kids to Catholic School; I homeschool.  Two of us stay home; one works.  One watches Fox News, two of us do not.  But do you know what?  It doesn’t matter.  Because I am so comfortable with these friends, I do something that I too rarely do:  I sort for same.  Instead of looking for ways we are different or finding reasons that we are incompatible, I naturally find all that I do have in common with these amazing women and love them unconditionally.  And know that I am loved the same.  As I drove home, I started crying, noticing that I was filled up.  That visit fed my soul.  And for this amazing gift – the gift of these forever friends – I am so incredibly grateful.


  1. So beautiful now I’M crying. 😉

    • Pass the Kleenex, sista! I didn’t stop crying for like 4 hours after I wrote that post…it must have been really cathartic!!! It’s so funny that I made you cry, too. MUST be the same soul group (wink-wink). xo, Tracy

  2. This is a beautiful post, Tracy. My son and daughter-in-law have Ella- China 2003 have also adopted a boy Will- Florida 2011. I know they feel exactly the same way you do. I love your search for the “same” in your friends. Thank you for the card- your girls are growing so fast! M

    • Mary! Thank you so much for your comment!! Thank you for reminding me about the other important members of our adoptive mamas club – the adoptive grand-mamas!! You also FULLY understand the joy!! And are on this journey with us! Thank you. And thank you for your card. I love to watch your crew grow in number and in age!! Hugs, Tracy

  3. You could never say a wrong thing! We adore you for who you are!! xoxo

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